Like some others, I was dismayed by the recent California ruling which purports to essentially end the practice of homeschooling in that state. Why, I said, that’s outrageous! I should have the right to make sure my child gets a good education in my home, safe from the drugs, sex and mayhem of the public schools. I felt indignant - safely indignant, of course, since I’m in Washington state, but still.

And can I salvage the rags? Is there any way to remove all that glass? I kinda think not. I think I’m ragless. I think my attempt to conserve lint, has resulted in the destruction of the hugest pile of rags ever, every last rag I have, my dishtowels, my washcloths, my dishrags and torn up used-to-be sacred underware, the old flour sacks and green scrubies, they’re all embedded with tiny shards of glass. And lint.

Because after a month of rotating infestations among my kids, £50 spent on treatments, and the wailing of miserable children who can’t stand their curly hair being forced through a steel comb, I have come to understand that no loving God would carefully design the pediculus humanus capitis.

DR PEPPER WILL GIVE EVERYONE* IN AMERICA A FREE SODA IF AXL ROSE RELEASES NEW GUNS N’ ROSES ALBUM, CHINESE DEMOCRACY, IN 2008

*Guitarists Slash and Buckethead Will Not Be Eligible For Free Soda